My Grandfather

My Grandfather

Each person's life is a novel and he/she is the hero/heroine. By recollecting my own memories of my childhood I might be covering an entire generation's childhood experiences. In the time frame when I was a small girl thousands of other girls and boys would have been sharing similar social conditions, movies, magazines, film songs, political turmoils etc., If somebody finds some common thread you are welcome to post your comment!

I was fortunate enough to be born into a family where my father was a first-generation educated person. My paternal grandfather who was a farmer in a small village on the banks of the river Cauvery in Thanjavur district, had three sons and four daughters. Those days there was no family planning and people had many children and each family had a number of children. Grandfather decided that his three sons should go into the three main professions known in those days. In all the Tamil movies of the time, the hero would become (1) a doctor, (2) an engineer or (3) a lawyer.

Accordingly he educated the first son-my father and had made him an engineer by the age of 21. My father had to walk four kilometres everyday to finish his high school in the nearby small town.Then he got a bicycle when he was in the ninth form. As my Thatha (grandfather) had bestowed genes of intelligence to all his children, my father had finished his high school with flying colours. Then he went to the nearby town, eight kilometres away, on his bicycle to finish his Intermediate education to go on to a professional college. It was unheard of in my thatha's circle of relatives that one of his sons was sent to the distant Ananthapur in Andhrapradesh for his engineering degree.My father was a conscientious son and strived hard to fulfil his father's expectations.But, being a first generation student he lacked guidance in choosing his engineering branch. As he knew that emgineers build bridges and buildings, he opted for civil engineering and was regretting it all through his professional career in the PWD of our state. All his college mates had gone ahead in their respective government departments as they had chosen other subjects like electrical or mechanical etc.,

When he got his B.E. degree he was given an appointment in the Public Works Department of the Madras State. A government job was 'the ultimate ' in career those days! With his first son earning a steady salary, it was easier for my grandfather to educate his other two sons as my father was footing the bill for their education. In the meantime, my father had been married to my mother, a school dropout like the other girls of her generation.Girls could not continue their education once they attain puberty and had to stay inside their homes till they got married in a year or two after that.

This brings me to the regressive ideas of my grandfather. Keen as he was in educating his sons, he treated his four daughters as outsiders who had to be brought up till their teenage years and then sent off to their husband's homes, once he could get grooms who would take care of them in some comfort. After that, the daughters could come to their parents' home only when they had to deliver their babies or to attend some marriage or temple pooja in their village! Of course, the society as a whole was like that in those days with very rare exceptions.

My grandmother was the incarnation of Sathi Savithri and her husband's words were the law for her. She spent her entire life in bringing up the children, cooking meals after meals and looking after her husband's needs. She belonged to the generation who believed what her husband says should be the truth and law. So she too believed that her daughters were liabilities and was not enthusiastic to receive them in her home. I particularly remember how she used to scold my athai's kids for playing noisily while she put up with us (her son's kids) with a smile. The women also took it for granted that they were inferior to men and meekly put up with the injustices meted out to them for being born a girl.

So, all my athais(auntie-sisters of my father), though being as intelligent as their brothers, had to drop out of the school when they attained puberty, mostly when they were in the 8th std. Only one of my athais completed her school final as she was lucky enough not to attain puberty till then!

My mother was very bitterly regretting how some of her FC friends were forward enough to finish at least their school education in those days. So, my mother made it a point to educate all her daughters till they all got a college degree each and one of them has become an engineer too. Anyway, lucky me, I was not born a daughter to my grandfather, but a granddaughter! Since then all the successive generations in our family had been educated and we are all reaping the benefits of a proper education thanks to my paternal grandfather.